1. Dawn D

    Pfff… I read this this morning but didn’t get to comment until now.
    Is it Ok for me to say I’m angry? Yes, I’m very angry! I don’t like it. Don’t like it one bit!
    And I feel unable to do anything to help 😦
    You are not a cow. You are not chewing the same thing over and over again. You are making progress at your own pace, and that is all that you can do. Keep looking forward, and try to fix some small goals to accomplish, even if it’s just go outside and walk for 20 minutes or make a hairdresser’s appointment, or sign up for an art class, anything.
    I’m sending you BIG HUGS. I wish we lived closer and I had more free time. But if you ever wished to visit me, you are more than welcome. A change of scenery may do you good!

    • pivoine68

      You have to admit she has fabulous eyelashes!

      Unless you really want a six foot tall chain smoking alcoholic sleeping on your couch…..don’t invite me! I might show up on your doorstep like a black cloud!

      I’m trying to take small steps. I’ve updated (for the zillionith time) my CV. I would really rather be published and famous but I guess that will have to wait. I thank you again and again for your friendship and for caring about my tedious self. And for the hugs too.

      Big Bisous,

      • Dawn D

        My couch is not big enough for any average person sleeping on it, let alone a 6foot anyone!
        This said, as long as the chain smoling happens outside, I don’t have a problem with it… Ok, that may be a problem for you, it’s getting cold around these parts, but well… as I said: your choice! It may still give you a break from whatever it is that you need to get away from 🙂

        Updating your CV is a good firt step. I find that doing this helps me realise all the things that I enjoy doing, all the things I’ve done that were valuable…
        Now, to send it to companies… Or you could find something you’re good at and create your own 🙂

        What you want to do is figure out what you could envision yourself doing and… go for it 🙂

        Big bisous!

      • Dawn D

        Oh, I realise I said my couch isn’t big enough, but when I don’t have my kids, I have plenty of beds for anyone, including 6′ tall women 🙂
        What will you do? If you’re talking about visiting me, I suppose sit outside and chain smoke and ruminate is an option. Or go for long walks in nature. Or visit the area… plenty of things I can think of 🙂
        If you’re referring to a job… I would sit myself and think about what I want, what I’m good at and how I could get money out of it. If it’s publishing a book, start by looking for publishing places. I have a friend who did that, I could ask her how she found them. Her second book is being published right now. She may not have been earning loads from it, but it is a start!
        Maybe for you it is finding a photo gallery and exposing your work to be sold.
        Or it is start painting and sell those. Or work as a saleswoman in that local place where you know everyone. Or work the bar of a hotel (at least you have some necessary knowledge that I don’t have for this sort of thing!)… You name it. There are options. My suggestion is this: the best work that I found, well, t actually found me. All it took was me being open to possibilities, looking at things as possibilities.
        Maybe you can use your language skills in a school for Newly arrived people who don’t speak French yet, or to tutor children in English… I’m sure there is something waiting for you. Just keep your eyes open 🙂

      • pivoine68

        You are so wonderful! Thank you, I cannot thank you enough.

        I know, I just have to open my eyes and something will appear. I already have one job offer as a farm helper in Auvergne, although I can’t really picture myself milking cows at 4AM. Then again, I would make good use of my insomnia whereas now, I just chain smoke and start drinking far too early to justify to normal human beings. I am always up for a roll in the hay! (must be scratchy….)

        Thank you for the invitation. Maybe a year from now I’ll have my own place where I could invite you. 🙂

        Fuck, when are we going to start organizing The International Sex Blogger Conference? I need that to look forward to!
        Have a happy day.


      • Dawn D

        I don’t know what you want to thank me for, but you’re welcome!

        Maybe milking cows at 4am is what you need to do to stop drinking and chain smoking far too early? For some, going back to a more simple life helps. I would probably fine considering my current sleeping pattern, I could milk them before going to bed 😉

        Yes, rolls in the hay are overrated! I know, I did it often. Not the naughty kind, I was too young, but the playful, carefree, childish kind. Actually, it’s not true: The hay isn’t all that bad. Straw is awful!

        I have unfortunately little time to organise much right now. I’d love to go though 😉
        But Ann was saying something about the next place she rents on holiday, inviting all the girls… maybe you should follow up with her!

        Have a happy day too 🙂

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