Photo by John Faux

She cautiously moves ahead, treading deep waters. The idea of going under, letting the waves wash over her troubled head is extremely enticing but at the same time, she would not want to miss even a second of her perilous journey.

So much time has already been squandered, as if “too late,” would never pertain to her.

So many extraordinary possibilities that are presently extraordinarily impossible.

In the new scenario she has written, herself being the main character, (obviously) she is continuously confronted with hugely uncomfortable situations. Situations that probably go against the very grain she was raised on. Situations that make her feel like an imposture. A ridiculous tourist visiting strange lands through the tinted window of a technicolor tour bus. Someone way too far out of her waters to ever swim well.

Or worse, just a complete idiot.

This lingering impression causes her to doubt her actions and herself in general. Maybe she is really much too far from her native shores. Maybe she is silently stepping on toes she had not even seen in her path, being blind to the protocol, the codes, breaking rules of conduct that she is completely unaware of. More or less. Maybe she is not really “a mature audience.”

This said, it is far from her intentions to waste anyone else’s time.


  1. Dawn D

    You’re not a complete idiot, and not wasting anyone else’s time. We’re all big enough to decide where we want to waste our time when we have time to waste. If we choose to do it here, then it must be because we get something out of it, so it’s not quite wasted then, is it? πŸ˜‰
    And you are right, this journey may perilous, but we wouldn’t want to miss a minute of it, so let’s keep our heads above the water, even when we are treading deep waters.
    Hugs my friend
    DNs unite πŸ™‚

    • pivoine68

      Oh i am at best a partial idiot. You changed your picture. It’s dark. I’m feeling rather dark too. Must be in the air.

      Here’s to keeping our heads above the water! Thanks for the hugs!

      United Dawns Bises

  2. Theo Black

    So I’m dying to know more. I know you have all kinds of contradictory feelings, cause you say that over and over again. I hope you’re moving in some direction. Maybe that’s enough, and you can decide later whether it’s a win or a lose.

    • pivoine68

      My Sweet ThΓ©o, are you trying to tell me in a polite manner that I am like a broken record? You are right about that but I am moving more than ever before, which feels good. More or less. (You have missed a few chapters in my breathtaking tale! Ha!) I am hugging you!


  3. Theo Black

    no, not a broken record. but you seem to be working through the cheap thrills and deep pleasures, but still frustrated. that’s not a criticism, just the human condition. I do admire and even envy your journey.

    • pivoine68

      I do have a tendency to repeat myself though. πŸ™‚

      Lately I’m thinking that my journey isn’t linear, it’s circular. The farther I get from where things were (stagnating) a few years ago, and believe me, I’ve really ventured out there, the more I start craving situations that would be way more familiar. Even though I know that most likely, a situation like that would probably just lead me back to where I began. You are right, that is the human condition. Just keep pushing that rock up the hill I guess.

      I admire and envy your journey. The best of both!


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