Up Above It

My Flying Carpet
For as long as I can remember, with every new pair of arms to hold me tight, with every new warm body next to mine, with every regard filled with desire, every thrusting partner in innocent crimes, I have experienced elevation. Being wanted by another human being lifts me up. I am freed from the confines of gravity, soaring triumphantly towards the stars, nearly grasping a constellation as I glide on by, a vision of serenity and peace.

Just the idea of being loved offers me a free ride on a beautiful magic carpet. Being lifted up so high makes my stomach rise into my throat as my fingers caress the velvety fabric and the wind whirls through my hair. For short-lived moments, I feel beautiful. I throw my head back triumphantly, casting a defiant stare behind me at Hurt and Self-Hatred, lifelong acquaintances that I have tried so hard to get rid of. I think I even left my country and my family in a hopeless effort to ditch them, but they always end up finding me again. I suppose that they have very powerful search methods, crafty GPS material that allows them to locate you no matter where you go.

Just when I start to get used to the altitude, when my body relaxes and  starts to enjoy the cool air and the beautiful view…someone inevitably pulls the rug right out from under me. I plummet to the unyielding ground with a bone-shattering thud. I have fallen so often that anyone in his right mind would say, “Avoid that carpet!” but before I have even brushed myself off, I am looking for another ride.

Maybe that is what life is about. Trying to hold on to your beautiful flying carpet. Take me higher.


  1. jayne

    Elevation is definitely a feeling I know too. As soon as I started reading, I understood the feeling exactly. What you got me thinking about is maybe you just have to master “the bounce”. I love the way you wrote this and when you said, “I throw my head back triumphantly, casting a defiant stare behind me at Hurt and Self-Hatred, lifelong acquaintances that I have tried so hard to get rid of.”, I pictured a woman on fire with the silhouette as if she had a wild mane…only you were riding a man not a carpet, my friend. xo, Jayne

    • pivoine68

      I need more bounce to the ounce! Why did your comment go into “approve me?” According to my records, you are my Number 1 commenter. It used to be AM but he has disappeared from our blog family. I think he will be back…how can he resist?

      I like riding a man my Sweet Friend. Picking myself back up is getting more and more difficult though, with age and also just because I get sick of falling down all the time. Fuckity fuck fuck!

      Dawn, on the ground with blurry vision. For now!

  2. Dawn D

    Yes, if you know to expect someone to snatch that carpet right from underneath you, you can always try to hold on tighter. Or just enjoy the ride, and learn to fly without the carpet…
    Bon courage. One day, the carpet will stay, and you will enjoy the longest ride of your life!

    • pivoine68

      I have a feeling that the flying carpet is always destined to let me fall at some point. Maybe that is the beauty of it all.
      This said, I am really hating being grounded today. J’espère qu’il fait un peu moins gris chez toi!

      Dawn (of the Dead?)

      • Dawn D

        Well, it might be that the flying carpets are going to let us fall… maybe we just need to remember to put our parachutes on, so we can enjoy the free fall without fearing the hurt as the ground approaches?!
        Il ne fait presque pas gris chez moi… dans le ciel peut-être, mais pas dans ma vie 🙂

    • pivoine68

      That´s for sure! Maybe it is wisest to avoid carpets like the plague….then again, I’m not very wise.

      Sorry I was so slow to respond. I.m having computer problems. (Along with carpet problems. It slows a person down.)


      • Benoît Beaudry

        Je suis lent moi-même, alors, ça s’annule!

        L’art, le rock, tout ça… c’est relié d’assez loin au concept de ponctualité je crois bien, enfin, je parle en mon seul nom, bien sûr…

        Good luck with the carpet cleaning…


  3. Mrs Fever

    I am reading this while listening to Audioslave’s “I Am The Highway”. The lyrics…

    I am not your carpet ride; I am the sky

    …strike a chord with me. Perhaps they will with you as well.

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