Up At Dawn


An afternoon wrapped in your arms feels mischievous, like skipping school. Selfish, like calling in sick for work when you are in perfect form. It is a guilty shared pleasure, a moment in suspension, letting the day slip away, seconds and minutes melting into fleshy hours of ebb and flow, contraction and release, for no greater purpose than our own. As evening approaches maybe scurrying off, back into the real world of responsibilities, cars, meals to be made. Or just sitting back to drink a glass of wine together as the sun silently sets, a moment to appreciate how truly lucky we are to have these moments, to be alive at all.

Being with you at night, after dinner in a restaurant, after a cocktail in a club, our breath coming together, a pungent mixed drink we share, I feel safe in your embrace. I smell the evening on your skin, we are giddy from alcohol and fatigue. The darkness is pushed farther into the background  as your body engulfs mine, protecting me from all that lurches in the shadows. When all is said and done, I love to crumple on your strong chest, listen to you breathing as I fall asleep. On these nights sleep comes easily. My body and my mind and even my heart are sometimes perfectly content. My anxieties, usually hindrances to slumber melt away like tiny snowflakes in these times we spend together.

Without a doubt, I would choose the morning to be with you, given the choice. I love to be gently stirred awake by your warm, hard body. I feel liquified in a dream of your body coaxing me to the surface. All is limpid and soft, like making love on a cloud. I feel childish in the morning, at dawn, as if somehow sleep has taken us back to younger days. Vulnerable days. We have not yet put on our masks. We are naked, like newborns, even in our attitudes. In our thoughts. As your body enters mine, gently sliding, pulsing, I am so touched by your presence in my life that I feel like crying for a moment. Up at dawn with you, I am overflowing with emotions. What a beautiful way to start the day.


      • Dawn D

        Tu rougis comme une pivoine?! 😉
        I must have a special something that I keep making women blush! Well, one day, someone might notice that special something, and then maybe I too can have a few more nice mornings…
        But really, your writing and the images you conveyed here are simply beautiful.

      • pivoine68

        I have already noticed! (not much of a consolation…but usually when one person recognizes something beautiful in another, other people notice too.)

        This morning thing, the whole deal, it is TOO weird. It is becoming a study in how we see ourselves and the impact that can have…does this make sense? I’m drunk.
        It is interesting though, it makes me wonder if I have always lived in a sort of altered reality. Or if I am living in one now. (?) Most likely I am fit to be….enfermée.

        Je t’embrasse,

      • Dawn D

        Oh, it makes complete sense. Check my post on appearances… How we view ourselves has a tremendous impact on how others view us.
        What I didn’t write in my post is that me having changed my outlook on myself had an influence on how my husband saw me… sadly, it was too late for me, for us…
        And I still need a lot of reinforcement too. Hence Boobday 🙂
        As you say, if you notice a special something about me, others are bound to notice it too… I’ll rejoice in that hope 🙂
        And about your last comment : the only person who can decide whether you’re fit for that is you 🙂
        But you certainly don’t sound like it to me. You’re just another gal trying to make sense of life 🙂
        Je t’embrasse aussi.

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