Diagonal Communication Skills

Observing I have never been at ease interacting with more than one other person at the same time, regardless of their gender. A certain form of passivity overwhelms my otherwise exuberant self. I take rapid retreat into my shell, allowing myself an excellent vantage point. I watch. I listen. Threesomes are generally not my forté. For that matter, in a table of ten, I am completely unable to sway the attention of my potential audience. If you have already read anything about me (my only real subject,) you probably already realize this. When I say that I write because it’s the only way I can get to the end of my sentence, I am in no way exaggerating.

I do realize however that I must somehow benefit (in silence,) from this defect of character. By choosing not to affirm myself, I am protected from making mistakes. From making a fucking mess. From creating tension between others, an intolerable situation for my little psyche. If I push the cork further into the bottle, I am also well-aware that many people who are dominant in conversations are less sure of themselves than they appear to be. That I am less unsure of myself than I appear to be. To beware of appearances seems as evident as leaves falling in autumn or Christmas in December. As evident as the sun rising each morning, a new dawn, every single day.

Now that I am officially 45 years old, I feel obliged to ask myself if this part of my personality is here to stay, if it will be a part of me for the rest of my roller-coaster life, or if it is something that I really need to work on fixing. Maybe the world needs more listeners. Maybe I have something to share with others. Maybe not.


  1. jayne

    You definitely have valuable insight to give. Maybe you need more people who can listen. xo, Jayne

  2. cAt

    I think you are perfect just the way you are. Go with the flow. If you feel the need to say something, do. If you don’t, then don’t. I am the same. There are pros and cons to any which way you are. So just be. Who you are.

    • pivoine68

      It is tiring when you have to really try to speak. Not that I have nothing to say, but I refuse to fight for my right to say something. I think you are right…I don’t think I will work on changing this part of me. I’m ok with it. (I get sort of furious every now and then, but I drink enough to make that feeling go away. That is my BIGGER problem. 🙂 )


  3. Sandee

    Probably not a coincidence — I had this subject on my mind today, after an elevator ride with two ‘quiet’ neighbors. I imagined someone else in that elevator with more of an ‘external’ personality. I pondered the differences between people who ‘watch’ and listen, and those, as you say, who are more dominant in these situations. I decided in the end that quieter people might be at an advantage.

    • pivoine68

      I’ve been rethinking this because really, when I am with fellow Americans, I have an easier time being a part of conversation. (usually.) So maybe it’s a cultural thing. I was an only-child until adolescence so maybe that is why I lack conversational skills…

      Being a listener is a good thing though.
      Bisous Sandée! I have some catching up to do at your place.

      • TheSeedSaidSo

        I’m back at work from being on holiday and I don’t like it I tells thee, I don’t like it one little bit…except that I can talk to you again 🙂 and I’m sure you’re still as beautiful as I recall!
        I have read your diiirty posts and have not the motor skills to comment!
        How are you?
        Missed you too bisous

      • TheSeedSaidSo

        I’m glad you are happy. I was on holiday with the in-laws and kids, and then went to my brother’s wedding…I’ll be sure to haunt you if anything really drastic happens to me.

        Dead of night visiting bisous.

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