Diagonal Communication Skills

Observing I have never been at ease interacting with more than one other person at the same time, regardless of their gender. A certain form of passivity overwhelms my otherwise exuberant self. I take rapid retreat into my shell, allowing myself an excellent vantage point. I watch. I listen. Threesomes are generally not my forté. For that matter, in a table of ten, I am completely unable to sway the attention of my potential audience. If you have already read anything about me (my only real subject,) you probably already realize this. When I say that I write because it’s the only way I can get to the end of my sentence, I am in no way exaggerating.

I do realize however that I must somehow benefit (in silence,) from this defect of character. By choosing not to affirm myself, I am protected from making mistakes. From making a fucking mess. From creating tension between others, an intolerable situation for my little psyche. If I push the cork further into the bottle, I am also well-aware that many people who are dominant in conversations are less sure of themselves than they appear to be. That I am less unsure of myself than I appear to be. To beware of appearances seems as evident as leaves falling in autumn or Christmas in December. As evident as the sun rising each morning, a new dawn, every single day.

Now that I am officially 45 years old, I feel obliged to ask myself if this part of my personality is here to stay, if it will be a part of me for the rest of my roller-coaster life, or if it is something that I really need to work on fixing. Maybe the world needs more listeners. Maybe I have something to share with others. Maybe not.

12 comments

  1. jayne

    You definitely have valuable insight to give. Maybe you need more people who can listen. xo, Jayne

  2. cAt

    I think you are perfect just the way you are. Go with the flow. If you feel the need to say something, do. If you don’t, then don’t. I am the same. There are pros and cons to any which way you are. So just be. Who you are.

    • pivoine68

      It is tiring when you have to really try to speak. Not that I have nothing to say, but I refuse to fight for my right to say something. I think you are right…I don’t think I will work on changing this part of me. I’m ok with it. (I get sort of furious every now and then, but I drink enough to make that feeling go away. That is my BIGGER problem. 🙂 )

      Bisous,
      Dawn

  3. Sandee

    Probably not a coincidence — I had this subject on my mind today, after an elevator ride with two ‘quiet’ neighbors. I imagined someone else in that elevator with more of an ‘external’ personality. I pondered the differences between people who ‘watch’ and listen, and those, as you say, who are more dominant in these situations. I decided in the end that quieter people might be at an advantage.

    • pivoine68

      I’ve been rethinking this because really, when I am with fellow Americans, I have an easier time being a part of conversation. (usually.) So maybe it’s a cultural thing. I was an only-child until adolescence so maybe that is why I lack conversational skills…

      Being a listener is a good thing though.
      Bisous Sandée! I have some catching up to do at your place.
      Dawn

      • TheSeedSaidSo

        I’m back at work from being on holiday and I don’t like it I tells thee, I don’t like it one little bit…except that I can talk to you again 🙂 and I’m sure you’re still as beautiful as I recall!
        I have read your diiirty posts and have not the motor skills to comment!
        How are you?
        Missed you too bisous

      • TheSeedSaidSo

        I’m glad you are happy. I was on holiday with the in-laws and kids, and then went to my brother’s wedding…I’ll be sure to haunt you if anything really drastic happens to me.

        Dead of night visiting bisous.

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