My Thoughts on Anonymity

The idea of anonymity has always seemed a bit strange to me. Unlikely. I believe that we are all born anonymous and it is our common goal to find some way to stand out, to make a difference, to be Somebody with a capital “S.”  In my blogging experience, which I have loved up until now and still love really, the whole anonymity aspect didn’t really make that much sense to me. Being in the shadows has never really been where I aim to be. Honestly, I would like my name to be a household word, I would love to do a World Book Signing Tour, I want to be invited to talk shows, wear very short skirts and very tiny swagger through crowded bars and cause a hush followed by the lull of whispering. I have been quite torn between this huge desire for recognition, fame, fortune….and the cozy, hidden blog nest where I can lay my eggs in peace. A place where I am both known and unknown. Safe.

Recently I have had some not-so gentle reminders that what I share here might really need to be kept secret. I may have been mistaken in thinking that since I don’t have a job in the government or anything, (I don’t have a job at all for that matter.) since I have no intention of running for public office, I imagined that I could put the identity issue aside. Since we cannot be simultaneously  recognized and in hiding, we are obliged to choose. When what we write is revealed to others outside of our blog-world, taken out of context, we unintentionally  hurt people around us. I really do not want to hurt anyone.

I have had problems related to Facebook, which is why I quit writing here for a while. Initially I was blogging with my real Facebook profile. I didn’t  realize at first what it was I needed to write about, (sex or the lack thereof) nor how my parents or other family members might feel reading about it. I created a Facebook page…but I have never been really concerned with hiding my true identity. I am like that. I was an abused child, I am an alcoholic, I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, I know about psychiatric hospitals and treatment centers…and if you take twenty seconds to ask me about any of it, regardless of who you are, I will be more than happy to fill you in on my whole story. I am not a discreet person. In France where I live, where people really do value their privacy far more than my compatriots, my lack of discretion has been a problem at times, but then again somehow I usually get away with it.

For my whole life, friends and loved ones have tried to convince me to be less revealing, to protect myself emotionally. Although I am an open book of feelings, dreams, problems, I am well aware at a certain level that this aspect of my personality is potentially dangerous. Yet I must say that I gain far more than I lose because of this. I meet fascinating people everywhere. I have truly beautiful experiences that are direct results of my openness. My frankness causes others  to open up more easily as well. The fact that I don’t feel the need to hide my flaws makes other people feel less flawed somehow. To me, what we feel ashamed of is shameful, what we cannot say is what must be said, what we hide is what is ugly. Once we have taken all of our dark secrets out of that place where we harbor them, they are no longer dark. Or secret. I would like to think that if we can own up to who we are, we will no longer have to hide. (in a perfect world, obviously!)

I’m rambling….just wanted to say, I’m back!


  1. Pete Armetta

    A what a return! 🙂 I know we’ve talked about anonymity in the past and to be honest I didn’t even know this was your blog with the new name! Very bold and nice and tasty to see, AWESOME.

    Well I am somewhat of a believer in letting it all hang out but maybe my writing is different, I’m really not much of a memoirist although I do reveal bunches of personal stuff in my writing. There really isn’t much incriminating anyone else although many people think my fiction has real life characters (and if often based on them certainly) or my poetry is either MY immediate pain and about specific OTHER people, you know. 🙂 But I think I maintain a certain distance that maybe in your writing you don’t.

    This is an impressive and very bold, wonderful post to read. I say go for it and do whatever your heart desires! 🙂

    • pivoine68

      Wow…I feel like a dick now. I didn’t see this comment Pete, and it is the nicest compliment. Especially coming from someone as talented as you! Plus your second comment I did see and my reply is not under you…although you are on top! 😉 Blogging While Intoxicated, most likely. Sorry about that. I’m on the wagon now in hopes that my ass might shrink down to a tiny cuteness…when it does not, we should meet and get plastered! (do people say that? I do.)

      Big Hugs and Kisses,

  2. Ghost

    Hey, your poetry is nice, but you should definitely post this kind of content more frequently!
    Great post. Congrats and thanks!
    And now I’m curious… 🙂

    • pivoine68

      Thanks! I like writing poetry better though. When I write prose I get all mixed up with my own ideas and worried that I have a very heavy hand (verbal diarrhea?)

      I’m glad that I didn’t leave you completely baffled. Or ill! Ha!

      Je t’embrasse,

  3. TheSeedSaidSo

    You’re absolutely right in everything you say! If people were more open we wouldn’t have half the problems we have with regards to secrets and lies and the torment that goes with them……however, if a certain somebody knew how much time was ‘wasted’ on blogging she’d hit the fucking roof!
    I had a landlady who would tell everybody everything about her life with no real qualms at all; wasn’t always a nice story she had to tell but it was refreshing and you knew immediately where you stood.

    Welcome back, Alice.

    • pivoine68

      Why thank you Mister Seed! Time is never really wasted while blogging, just turned in a different direction…don’t tell her though! Some truths are better left where they already are! (at the office?) I was missing you! I believe I was that landlady.

      Belated Bisous,

      • TheSeedSaidSo

        If you were that landlady I’d still be living there!
        And you’re right about blogging time…at least I assume you are; I’ll let you know when I’m no longer able to do it.
        And god bless the office…a much needed ‘X’ on the map.
        Missed you too bisous.

  4. H.H.

    We’re all happy to have you back – you, with all your imperfections. We missed you and we hope that keep on being open and honest! Thanks.

  5. rheath40

    Glad you’re back my dear. I’m not an anonymous blogger, but do protect those that are. Many times my family members have told me the same thing, which is basically hide who I am. It’s not going to happen. I did that for far too long. I figure if I share and it helps one person, then I’ve done what I’ve been put on this earth to do. Keep writing and sharing. I love your words.


  6. Theo Black

    Wow, I just figured out this is you. I am slow sometimes. –Glad you’re back. You have my admiration for living your life as you describe and still keeping your voice, because the voice is important, it’s maybe the most importantant thing. And yes, anonymity can be important, unfortunately. People aren’t supposed to know you think it’s all right to commit sex.

    • pivoine68

      Hi My Sweet Théo!
      It is funny to think of committing sex, like committing a crime, a transgression. I am really thrilled to be back! No blogging leads to brain-clog quite quickly!

      Being too open is not really al that great. Like most qualities, it tends to be my biggest defect of character.

      Big Back in the Saddle Bisous,

  7. SukieJones

    Birds of a feather in real life. The thing is, what I post on my anonymous blog is all stuff I would say to anyone at all if one simply sat down and spoke frankly for once.

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