I’m SO Excited!

December 16, 2012

I am gushing all over myself with pride and gratitude! Thank you India, Fatal and H.H. for nominating me for The Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award. *sniff, sniff.

How it Works (yes, as a matter of fact I have been to an AA meeting or two!)

1. Thank the person who nominated you…verbally, orally? Anally? With cash rewards or flowers, nubile virgins, sex toys? You can be the judge of that. Just find a way to show your deep appreciation. You know you love to be praised.

2. Link back to their blog in your post. (For me this is as simple as a backpacking excursion in the Himalayas in high heels, a gin martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I hope for you nominees that your computer skills are better than mine.)

3. Post the image of the Award on your blog. (phew! It worked!)

4. Copy and answer the six questions from their blog post.

5 .Nominate nine bloggers, (or nineteen, if you are terrible at decision-making.) link to them and let them know they’ve been nominated.

Here Goes Nothin’

1. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?

I’ve had sex in an elevator, which is quite tame in comparison to the rest of you but, I refuse to make something up! I’ve had sex with this Robert Smith-ish looking goth guy who’s bed was like a double coffin. (Unfortunately he really is deceased now.) I guess I have never done anything very kinky. I’m still hoping some kink might fall on me at this late stage of the game. Who knows.

2. What do you now know about sex that you wish you’d have known earlier in life?

How essential it is for your sanity. How trying to ignore your own sexuality is hopeless and ridiculous. That faking it gets you nowhere, that not only is it just fine to masturbate, it is really a gift and an excellent way to find out how your body works. If I had a daughter, I’d buy her a vibrator for her tenth birthday. (before ten, she would have to make do with her fingers.)

3. Is there any gutter fantasy you’d like to try? (tell us what it is.)

I guess every person’s definition of “gutter” fantasy is different…the gutter is usually a dirty place to be in both senses of the word so, I took it in the butt a few times before I really “lost my virginity.” because I thought that way didn’t count, just like oral sex. So, I’ve had anal sex, been sodomized, whatever, many times since those innocent teenage days but I think that although I’ve been willing, it has never really worked. So that can be my “gutter” fantasy. Someone with whom I can make that work and be intensely enjoyable for me and that person. Possibly dirty in every sense of the word.

When I was younger, I was horrified at the idea of being with a girl. Maybe I was horrified that I would enjoy it. I don’t really know but now I think I would like to experience sex with a woman as I am sure there is much to learn from new experiences and I am sure that it would be incredibly sensual. Beautiful probably. (That is a “non-gutter” fantasy.)

4. What’s the funniest bedroom situation you’ve ever been in?

I wrote about my absolute worst bedroom situation in another blog award post. It is only funny now. To make a long story short…go here.

Has gutter blogging taught you anything?

Gutter blogging has taught me so much about myself, my sexuality, what I really want. Sometimes I read my own posts and I almost have to remind myself that I am the one writing them. Prior to writing this blog I was sort of disassociated with my own sexual being. This literary endeavor has brought the “sexual me,”and the “everyday me,” together a bit and has also brought so many amazing people into my life…

I’m not a religious person but there is something really awesome about finding each other this way. Like Divine Intervention. I learn so much from what my fellow gutter bloggers (and un-gutter bloggers) have to share and from their advice and encouragement as well. So thank you.

6.What is your favourite post from the person who nominated you?

Well, I was nominated first by Beautiful India at Work Spouse Story and my favorite post by her is “I Wrote a Letter.” (Yes, I suck at linking. I feel like giving up.) She is an ex-pat like me who crafts a sultry tale and she has excellent taste in music too. I was also nominated by my Sweetness Fatal and my fave by her is here. (really I adore everything that she writes. She is sort of like a mirror for me, sending me images of myself in her words and I love her.) Last but not least I was nominated a third time (I am truly gloating!) by my friend H.H., I always wonder what that stands for…Highly Happy, Happily Horny? He writes pulsating stories of his erotic life with a younger women with loads of appetite. My favorite post by him and Lo is here.

Now the Hard Part

I don’t like to choose between so many bloggers who deserve recognition. I speak for myself but I’ll bet many of you are quite easily miffed or maybe even heartbroken when left on the bench, for me this is just leftover emotion baggage from cheerleading try-outs (they can burn in hell!) from the Snowball at Skate City in fourth grade and also three years of misery on the junior high basketball team (yeah, I’m tall. Nope, I’m not coordinated at all!)  but I’ve tried to nominate friends that I think might appreciate being nominated. I wish that I read more new bloggers because otherwise all of this can become quite cliquish but I can’t even seem to keep up with the writers I already follow. I’m not going to nominate the people who nominated me although they are more than worthy.

1.Gillian, at Tin Women Press, My Fairy Blog Mother. She’s incredibly talented in and out of the gutter and without her encouragement I would have quit writing before I even got started.Thank you. Je t’aime.

2. Accidental Masturbator, My First Follower, my friend and a fellow chronic self-lover who shares the same marital problems that I deal with in an often funny, poignant manner. I kiss you in French and in English. In the gutter!

3. Hy, Number Three in the 100 Top Sex Bloggers in the English-Speaking UNIVERSE!  A beautiful women who writes beautifully. She touches my heart, every time.

4. Théo Black, My Héro, he is sweet and sexy and his cyber presence in my life makes the world a happier place. Plus he once told me I reminded him of girls he used to get drunk with in high school. I’ve loved him a little ever since. He is an excellent writer and he knows gutter.

5. Sophia, Saucy married sweetness with lovely photos too. I thank her for always appearing when I feel sad and giving me a little hug! She is a Blog Angel.
6. Jayne, Her words are light and airy and full of wonder. She lifts me up some days and we share tears on other days.  Really I don’t think she is that gutter because she is so far above the ground but her words are quite stirring…

7. Noodle, is sexy and writes exquisitely. A very fluid read (Can I say that?) and another blogging pal I would love to really meet.

8. C.C. A bit like me, she is working her way into the gutter! We didn’t say some words before, but now she is getting good at it!  She is an excellent and prolific writer.

9. Truth is telling a story that is hard for him to live through, like all of us I guess, but he does it really well. A sexy and honest blog(ger.)

I have to mention

diirrty, because he can be SO gutter and manages to arouse me at any given moment…but I didn’t nominate him because he doesn’t do awards. Plus I had to choose 9.

Faded, is not very gutter but he is terribly sexy. In case you don’t know his blog, he is so talented and…dominant.

Sandee, is my new friend and she is not gutter at all so far but I sense that there is a seed of smut planted deep inside her just waiting to be discovered. (Maybe I’m wrong, maybe not!)

Molly, is younger but seems like a blogging older sister to me, she tells a very explicit tale and is a great writer to boot. Thank you Molly for always looking out for me.

Kyle, My Chevalier. I reckon he’s in love…not much gutter going on chez Mew these days but he does it well! He’s really funny, too.

I nearly forgot My Link Master. Sacha! He taught me everything I know about linking and I love him for that. He doesn’t write gutter much but I’m sure that he would be great at it if he
felt like it. He has a HUGE imagination!

Written by pivoine68 Posted in Award, Blogging, Writing Tagged with award, blog, gutter, sexy, writing