This morning I was at my gym, pedaling away, sweat running in a rapid current down my temples and into my eyes and suddenly I just though to myself, “Dawn, why are you trying so hard. No one is fucking you anyway.” My inner voice loves offensive language. My outer voice as well. This is what I really want to write about. How I have somehow passed beside my own sex-life and how tragic that seems to me now. I am 43 years old, I’m still reasonably attractive but I am all too aware of how time is of course taking its toll, how in such a short time I will no longer be desirable to anyone at all. I work out five days a week. I am always thinking of my body, of how I would like to change it into someone elses. Someone who has a normal life. A normal sex-life.